Plasmapheresis and other bad ideas

Earlier this week I decided it was time to make a little money. So off to the plasma donation center I went, armed with multiple forms of ID, great veins, low blood pressure and the cleanest of clean sex and drug histories. A number of hours later, after a finger prick, a urine test, a complete physical and being asked at least four times a series of questions about AIDS, HIV, drugs, and having sex in Africa, I finally made it to the donor floor. I successfully pumped out my near-liter of blood, they spun off my plasma, then they began the process of returning my red blood cells. Apparently my veins aren't as great as I thought they were because instead of the blood going back into the vein from whence it came, it started to pool up under my skin in a big bubble, a rare (so they say) occurance called "infiltration". I finally got the nurse to realize that something was wrong and they decided to stick me in the other arm to see if they could get it to go in that vein. My right arm rebelled as well, infiltration occuring again although this time under closer supervision, so they had to keep my red blood cells. This meant two things: 1. I can't donate again for eight more weeks, and 2. I lost almost a liter of blood. The technicians were all really embarrassed and told me to stock up on juice boxes and cookies out in the lobby. I felt pretty awful after the whole thing. I guess blood is important after all. Personally, though, I think the whole process would have been much more successful if "Big Momma's House 2" hadn't been playing on the TV monitors.

So here are some pictures of the sweet bruises on my arms from my plasma donation debacle. They don't quite do justice to the beauty of the bruises, but it's the best I could do.

Other bad ideas: unemployment, taking the Indiana Jones series too seriously, unemployment, eating a large box of Apple Jacks in a small amount of time, unemployment, being at home alone all day, unemployment, etc.